Thursday 24 November 2011

The First Rewrite

This is now complete. I felt I had to check all of the girls’ timelines. I found that they were actually correct. No two year pregnancies and nobody got engaged to two different people. The change in the letters was also subtle and at the right speed.
I wanted to bring some more tension into the Renate strand. I think I have managed that but I haven’t had to alter it a lot. I’ve made a little more of the voices in the head and added a few more examples in. I imagine it to be the voice of the collective Nazi spirit. If it does become a stage play, I imagine a narrator / chorus type character dressed in an SS uniform. This voice stops after her breakdown. I feel that I want to replace it with something but I’m not sure what, yet. Hopefully it will come.
I also wanted to make up my mind what to do about the German words. Translate them or show meaning by example the first time they’re used? I’m still not sure, so I shall revisit that during the next edit.
I’ve taken some bits out but also added in some other sections. So, it’s still running at just under 100,000 words. Hopefully, some natural tightening might help there. The question is, does it all really work together?       

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