Edit 9 Completed

I have now completed the ninth edit of the novel. This time I’ve been looking at dialogue. I find this one of the easiest edits. There is a set of checks I need to do about every single piece of dialogue.

1.      It should not be too natural

2.      It should only say important things

3.      It should differentiate characters' voices

4.      When angry, becomes childish

5.      Should take 2/3 of popular book (Ah, but is mine going to be a popular book?)

6.      Should convey mood, character and reaction

7.      Every speech should give information

I’ve included this for the voices in the girls’ letters as well. This is a tangible and easy to execute edit. It is of course also extremely important. The dialogue really carries the story. Getting this right now makes the later “show don’t tell” edit easier.

In this edit I’ve also finally decided on “Hitlerjugend” as opposed to either “Hitler Jugend” or “Hitler Youth”. However, I am half expecting an editor later to ask me to change all of the German words. The linguist in me just wants them there.   

I also smartened up one of the extra scenes I put in after the last edit.

And so it goes on and on.        

Third Revision of Novel

I completed this yesterday.

I’m quite pleased that there are several humorous touches – the nickname that Hani and Christophe invent for Hitler, the fact that that amuses Frau Lehrs, her pretending to be Emil Kühn’s mother, the bickering between Kathe Edler and her friend Eva Kaiser and the mud fight at the farm in Somerset. I have got the bugger / Bagger joke back in.

I’ve cut about a thousand words this time, but probably added in about 1,200. I think when I do some general tightening a little later some more will go. The “show don’t tell” edit usually sorts this out. Sometimes, of course, that can actually make the text a little longer. The overall length is fine, though, and I think it will remain so.

I’ve made the scene with the bombing of Stuttgart more dramatic and I’ve added an extra scene just before the mini-resolution where Renate recovers from her breakdown. A haircut is key!

I’ve also got rid of one of the Wilhelms. There were three altogether – four if you include the name of the school that the German girls used to attend. I’ve changed one of them to a Gerhard.

I’ve made a decision about the German words I’m using. I’ve made sure their meaning is clear the first time I’ve used them.  I’ve also created a glossary. This will also be included on the web site.  

I’ve also decided to provide some information about the places in the sorry. I’m currently working on that for the web site as well.