I'm now about half way through creating the first draft of
this. It's my first attempt at a play and I think this is very much a first
draft. I worry a little that it may have a few too many scenes and some tricky
set changes, though I see it on an abstract and minimalist stage.
There is a fairly large cast but there are many minor parts
that can be covered by a chorus.
Might it work better as a radio play?
All to be looked at and all up for debate.
In any case, it is intriguing how the narrative translates
into dialogue and a few stage directions. Inner monologue from the novel is
replaced by acting in the play.
The voice that speaks to Renate at the end of some scenes
I'm giving to an actor who actually comes on as a Nazi officer. The same actor must
play the benign border official in one of the final scenes.
Today I wrote the scene where Renate looks for him but in
the novel doesn't see him. In the play he comes on stage but does not speak. I've
posted that scene below. Let me know what you think.
SCENE 24
ANNE , CHRISTINE,
CHORUS and THE HAIRDRESSER are in a
bathroom. RENATE is sitting in front of a mirror. Her eyes are closed and she
has her hands over her eyes. Her hair
has now been cut into a modern bob. She has a towel around her shoulder. There
is hair on the floor.
CHRISTINE: There, you
can look now. Open your eyes.
RENATE takes her hands
away from her face and looked in the mirror. She gasps.
HAIRDRESSER: You do like it, don’t you?
GIRL 1. It looks really lovely. Don’t you think so, Renate?
ANNE: Will you cut
mine like that?
HAIRDRESSER: Yes, of course. But maybe you’d better come to
the salon. She looks down at the hair all
over the bathroom floor.
CHRISTINE. Oh, don’t worry about that. We’ll soon clear it
all up.
HAIRDRESSER You’re really lucky that you have such a nice
natural wave. It will be easy to keep it like that. You’ll just need to set it
each time you wash it.
CHRISTINE: You’re not saying much, Renate. Don’t you like
it?
RENATE: Of course I do. It’s lovely.
ANNE: It makes you look really pretty.
HAIRDRESSER: Well, I’m glad you’re pleased.
NURSE: enters centre
stage. Goodness. She looks first at the floor and then at
Renate. Girls, you need to finish up now. And tidy up this mess. Renate
needs to get some rest.
CHRISTINE: Oh, we’ll do this very quickly. Do you have a
dustpan and brush?
NURSE: Follow me. She
hesitates as she goes to exit centre stage and turns back to Renate. It
makes you look so English. It really suits you. THE NURSE and CHRISTINE exit centre stage.
RENATE looks back at
her reflection. Then she looks
around. The lights dim and the other girls freeze. The NAZI OFFICER appears
briefly stage left but he doesn't speak. RENATE stares at him. He blinks then
exits again stage left. Lights come up again fully.
CHRISTINE: enters
centre stage. Still admiring yourself? Come on girls. She hands the dustpan to Anne
and the brush to GIRL 1. Let’s get this cleared up before matron has fifty
fits.
RENATE: Thank you for thinking of this.
Blackout.
