I completed this yesterday.
I’m quite pleased that there are several humorous touches – the nickname that Hani and Christophe invent for Hitler, the fact that that amuses Frau Lehrs, her pretending to be Emil Kühn’s mother, the bickering between Kathe Edler and her friend Eva Kaiser and the mud fight at the farm in Somerset. I have got the bugger / Bagger joke back in.
I’ve cut about a thousand words this time, but probably added in about 1,200. I think when I do some general tightening a little later some more will go. The “show don’t tell” edit usually sorts this out. Sometimes, of course, that can actually make the text a little longer. The overall length is fine, though, and I think it will remain so.
I’ve made the scene with the bombing of Stuttgart more dramatic and I’ve added an extra scene just before the mini-resolution where Renate recovers from her breakdown. A haircut is key!
I’ve also got rid of one of the Wilhelms. There were three altogether – four if you include the name of the school that the German girls used to attend. I’ve changed one of them to a Gerhard.
I’ve made a decision about the German words I’m using. I’ve made sure their meaning is clear the first time I’ve used them. I’ve also created a glossary. This will also be included on the web site.
I’ve also decided to provide some information about the places in the sorry. I’m currently working on that for the web site as well.
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