Most of the comments are in now from my beta-readers. Most of the commentary is around the Nazi voice. This is something I wasn’t all that sure about myself in fact. Should it be there? Was it strong enough? Was it too strong?
I’ve concluded, after hearing what everyone has had to say, that it should be there, but that it isn’t yet quite right.
Interestingly, some people have interpreted it as purely a Nazi voice and some that it is really just Renate thinking. I actually mean it to be both at once. If it should be made into a play, I would imagine these words spoken by an actor dressed in an SS uniform and that this figure would appear on a balcony, in the auditorium or if on stage all lights would be out except for a spot on him and maybe he would be upstage right.
I decided in the end to extend that voice a little. I’ve now reread every single scene where it occurs and in nearly every case I’ve lengthened it.
It constantly reminds Renate that she is neither German, English nor Jewish, that she belongs nowhere, that she is a disgrace and that she doesn’t deserve any happiness.
I think I may now be about to send it out to agents, followed by small press.
It would be useful to get it out internationally.